From the Divine Feminine of the Church of the Sacred Synthesis
Letters
From Jenna Lake
Open Letter to Our Members & All Who Find this
From the Divine Feminine of the Church of the Sacred Synthesis
May we all seek to understand, for through understanding we can cultivate compassion, forgiveness, and inner peace.
Hello, Beautiful Souls,
Can you believe it’s been an entire year since EntheoGenesis? It’s also been an entire year since my world came proverbially crashing down. With that comes some very mixed emotions and energetics. I’d like to share this letter with you all in full transparency as I realize that until this point, I haven’t been ready to share. What happened a year ago has taken me this long to process. I wish that I would have been able to hold that space for you all, myself, and my family. My trauma response was to go within; to step back from the hate and chaos. I was not built to hold everything that I needed to last year. I am today though.
First and foremost, I’d like to apologize to you, our members. To everyone who felt the church pull back, felt lost, felt confused by the USONA paper, by the other articles, and by the hate directed towards not only the leadership, but also towards those who supported us. I’m so sorry you experienced that. I think above all else, it’s the hurt to our members that was the saddest part. What happened to each of you was not fair and the fact that you were made to doubt your own experience, were basically gaslit, bullied into believing something because of the source that it originated from, told that what you experienced wasn’t real, and that we were all suffering from a mass Placebo Effect. I get it, I do. These people were supposed to be trusted, right? I’m so sorry that something that began so positively, turned into hurt. I do hope that you can find in your hearts to understand that we are all just human. Our reactions and responses to this were ones of shock. We absolutely were not prepared for something like this or on the scale that it became (pretty much the entire internet came for us, and… is still ongoing, unfortunately.) So we ask forgiveness, for in those moments, we were just as hurt and confused as you.
Let’s begin with the energy of gratitude. I am grateful to be here, to be able to still be doing the work that has called to me, grateful for the lessons learned, and grateful for each of you. This journey has not been what I could have ever imagined, but working in this space and with the Entheogens that I do, it is on par with what happens when you put complete trust in the path you have chosen. When your intention is to help and effect change in the larger system, well… that change has to begin with you. When I stepped into being a part of this church, knowing what our sacrament was, I really should have expected some earth-shattering, reality-transforming experiences…and that is exactly what I received. Our sacrament has the ability to effect positive change in so many lives, and in order for myself, and our church to be able to hold the sacred space for how big this could be…well, some big things had to happen.
None of us are the same people that we were last year. Change happens to us all, some years in slow increments, and others- like last year, with catalysts so great that you can only hope that events like that happen once in your life. I, myself, can look back on that person I was with love, and a recognition that who I have had to become is someone that I know can handle anything. So, with the understanding that I cannot change the things that have happened, I then must seek to understand them and through that understanding, find it in myself to learn, accept, and move forward.
Moving on to the energy of accountability. Let’s talk about what the church should and is taking accountability for. I absolutely understand and acknowledge that it is our responsibility to prove the existence of Psilomethoxin in our sacrament. We said it, we believe it, and we have to then prove it. We know and understand this. There will be those who argue that we should have proven it with science before we offered it. I understand that reasoning. Here’s the thing though…proving something, researching something, especially something new (or in psilomethoxin’s case, something that had not been explored beyond making it in the 1960s) requires funds- lots of them, especially the research part. We were not (and still aren’t) wealthy people. We had no other way of raising money through our church other than our sacrament sales, which is where we had planned and already begun to put a very large portion of the proceeds. What happened last April caused us to have to delay our process, less funds meant more time, and a lot more creativity had to be used in acquiring the necessary equipment that we needed. We did however persevere. We built our lab and started our research. So, in that aspect of accountability, I do feel that we did and continue to hold up our end.
Another aspect of accountability to our members that we are responsible for, is communication. There are those who feel like we could have done better in that regard. For that, I agree. While we have never been misleading in our communications, I do acknowledge that our focus when we first started was solely on Psilomethoxin; to get the word out, and to lead with that. This entire journey has been a learning experience for us, and you. For those who felt as if we did not mention enough that Psilocybin was also in our sacrament, we apologize. In that, we have learned to communicate better. This was not born from an energy of deception, but one of excitement for the new molecule. We have and will continue to be as transparent as possible- that was a lesson learned.
Now, here is where I move into the experience of last year. Some of you may be questioning why we chose to file a lawsuit. Some of you may be very uncomfortable with us doing that. I want to explain in the best way I can, why. Last year broke me. It broke my heart, it damaged our church in a way that will take years to recover. It broke our members’ trust in us, and it took a very deep toll on my personal life.
The amount of hate that we received seemed very disproportionate to what was actually going on. Third parties whom we had never met, who had never tried our sacrament, and who should not have had any interest in our church or community, decided to do their best to destroy us. In a lot of ways, they were successful. I was the person running the social media accounts. I was the person answering emails, communicating with members, and generally handling the front end of the church along with my husband. I felt every comment, I read every email, and I held all of that hate, anger, and contempt. I took a lot of bullets last year. They were relentless. Have you ever had one person set on destroying you? How did that feel? Times that by 1000.
Some days I did not want to get out of bed. Some days I didn’t. Some days I was filled with helpless rage, others with vast grief. I had to watch my husband start having stress-induced seizures, racking up medical bills that we cannot afford to pay, and adding another level of fear and panic in my life. I had to watch employees of our church leave because we could not pay them, it broke my heart. I had to listen to people call my husband vile names, call him personally telling him they could no longer work with him, even after he donated countless hours of his time pro bono for them. We lost friends and community. I cried more times than I can count. I became depressed, I withdrew from the world. I no longer wanted to see anyone, because I saw how quickly “friends” turned when they felt afraid of being publicly associated with us. I became suspicious of everyone’s motives. I struggled to feed and provide for my children. I was not in a good place.
So why? Why didn’t I just quit? Why didn’t all of us just quit? We were dragged through the mud by pretty much every big name in the psychedelic community. Were we just gluttons for punishment? No. I’ll tell you the reason I stayed. Trust. I trusted in our sacrament. I knew what it was, and what it was doing for people. I could have cared less about the name, or the chemical makeup, I cared about the experience.
Everyone is out here arguing and speculating about a name, but no one argued about its benefits or the good it was actually doing for people. That’s why I stayed. I saw the results. I saw the positive changes this sacrament was affecting not only in myself, but in our community. That’s where my faith was; in the experience. Have you ever just had that deep gut knowing about something? That what you’re a part of is bigger than you? That’s why I stayed and continue to stay. That’s why I got up and kept going, kept reading the comments, and kept receiving the emails knowing that I had to be patient and wait for this to unfold in the timing that it needed to. For as much as you all were laboriously waiting, trust me, so were we.
So, I learned to be happy in the chaos eventually. Some days are better than others, admittedly. I learned to not take things so personally, even if they were personally aimed at us. I learned to let go of anger, but still hold accountability.
I’m not an attorney, but I do know if I ever were to seek to destroy an entire community of people, they better be the worst kind of people out there, causing the worst kind of harm. That was not and is not us. What happened to us was a very imbalanced reaction caused by people who did not think about or care about the damage their actions caused. Far worse, they doubled down and even celebrated our destruction.
What we are seeking is not vengeance, but restitution. They interjected themselves into our organization, causing harm to not only the church and its leadership, but to its staff, their families, and our members who came to us for support. They damaged a lot more people than the ones they were aiming for. I’m not going to go into the case here and all of the false information that was stated as it will be publicly available, but the things I read were clearly from people who never took the time to reach out to us, to try our sacrament, or to see who we were as a community. This is where we are holding them accountable. The damage to our reputation, both personally and as an organization was so thorough that even today when we have proven the article to be false, they said there was nothing in there that weighed 235.15 (the proposed weight of Psilomethoxin) and we clearly showed there was…we still are not believed. They have succeeded in slandering us so badly, that even with the truth, we are not believed. No matter which way we turn, there is no other path than seeking legal action in this matter.
Our church lost so much, but we did gain a lot from this experience. We gained perseverance and spines of steel. We gained the ability to stand in the fire and be reborn from it. We gained some beautiful relationships with the members who did stay, who came to our classes each week, and who grew along with us this past year, and that is priceless.
In the great journey of life, I don’t know what happens next. I don’t know the outcome, nor does that bother me. Life throws curveballs I’ve learned, because there is another path that we are meant to walk. Had the events of last year not happened, who knows who I would be this year…and I’ve come to love this version of myself.
Finally, dear member, I stayed for you. I stay because you all are way smarter than me, and have many more lessons to teach me. This church is not one where the people on the staff are any more advanced or “enlightened” than its members. No, it’s you who teaches us, who makes us into better people, because, at the end of the day, we are in service. To you, to our sacrament, and to the higher callings and powers that divinely guide everything with love.
And it all comes back to love, doesn’t it? That’s what matters at the end of the day. And what is love without forgiveness, compassion, and understanding? So, I am learning to embody that as best I can for you and with you.
The ladies who work with me in this church are some of the best people you will ever meet. I can’t wait to share them with you so that you get to learn from them just as I have. They are a gift to us all. This church is my family and for those that don’t know me, I am a mother. I fiercely protect what is mine, and this community and its people are mine (and yours). I will, and have, gone full mama bear in defending my people and I count all of you as my people.
You are blessed and a blessing, you are love and loved, and you are perfect exactly as you are. I hope to meet you all in person one day.
Jenna Lake
Way Shower /Multi-Tasker/ Mama Bear
From Meagan Lynn
A Letter from Meagan
I first started taking psilomethoxin in the summer of 2021, long before it became a point of controversy. I’ll never forget my first time. I told my best friends Jenna and Greg that I would keep a meticulous record of my experience as they were curious how it would impact me on a physical plane. 1 hour in I texted them something along the lines of “I can feel my energy body, and also the spastic pain I was in prior to dosing went from a 6 to a 2.” They were thrilled. Over time I became involved more and more in the church as it came together as somewhat of a community liaison, I suggested and put together a panel at Cannadelic, it was beautiful to bear witness to and be a part of. I helped organize “hike-ro-doses” and had the honor of meeting with amazing veterans and community who all described a sense of unwavering presence with the sacrament. I watched the blood, sweat, and tears go into planning this beautiful emergence to the community called Entheogenesis, which was a transformative event for many. A community of support, grounded in their experience and their deeply personal journeys.
I was also there for the release of the USONA article. The timing and reference to our event was the mark of some truly wounded individuals. I began receiving passive aggressive messages on social media from a friend of the author of the article, suggesting that our organization lacked any integrity and they “don’t want any groups regardless of motive to sink all ships.” and that they are “sorry we can’t handle the truth and obviously need to look inward.” Ironic? Very. It went down from there. Every time I logged on the internet it was some video making fun of Adam or Greg or Ben or a public forum in a “conscious” facebook group just overflowing with hate messages. All coming from people who never tried it of course. Everyone who was so swift to support us fell away as fast as they showed up. The church began to struggle fiscally but we stayed course, focused on producing the science, and held our heads high through it as our members and staff were gaslit and bullied.
So first to address accountability on our part. Yes, we are responsible for proving the existence of psilomethoxin. We know this. I know there is a dialogue that the science should have been proven before it was offered. This is a valid statement and opinion and I honor that opinion. What people don’t know is that there was a period of time before the church became public or popular that many people, myself included, were testing out the sacrament. What many people do not know about me is what I have managed to heal myself from. At my last count, I had over 32 lesions all over my brain and spinal cord. I spent years refining my spiritual toolbox, changing my diet, digging new neural grooves to heal myself from this and have tried many microdosing protocols. I am a scientist with a graduate degree and extensive medical training, as well as certified in Brain Longevity. I bring this up because I am highly attuned to anything and everything neurotoxic. Which was one of the unfounded theories floating around. I experienced relief from spasticity with this sacrament that nothing else so far has given me. In my most recent scan, about two years after beginning to work with sacrament, I received the news for the first time in my life that I had zero progression of disease. I gained back more ability in my left side. I began to play the sound bowls when previously I could not grip the mallet with my left hand. My personal theory on this is the catalyst this sacrament is for mindfulness. The strong emphasis the church places on using in synthesis with other mindfulness tools is an imperative part. Suddenly my brain was no longer getting caught in loops about traumatic events…I was just present. And this translated in a noticeable way to my physical healing. In fact as I write this, I am getting packed to fly up to the NIH to undergo a 7T MRI and meet with a panelist of specialists to explain just how I have done what I’ve done and how I turned it around from the point the disease course was at. So imagine being me, gaining back dexterity in my hands, able to go kayaking and outside with my friends more and more, while receiving feedback from people that never tried it that I was “poisoning” myself.
I would say one of the worst parts for me personally is seeing what a year of incessant nonstop hate mail and messages has done to my very best friend. Over time, as we know, bullying wears people down. There once was a time where me and my best friend Jenna would just go dance in the woods..just because! And for the past year, I have watched her struggle to not let this hate dim her light. I have watched it affect her health and other areas of life. I have watched and stood by helplessly as she fell into a depression, fighting so hard to stand up for what she believes in while the community kicks her down over and over and over again. She saw the positives and she held on for dear life to stick it through and trust. And it broke my heart because I just wanted to go over all the time and hug her and be with my best friend. That’s one of the things I grieve most, still to this day on a daily basis.
There was a period last year that I briefly stepped out of the public eye and working for the church. I myself went through a very publicized sexual assault by a self-proclaimed shaman last year and became the victim of extreme cyberbullying over this. I was forced to go to court for my protection and during this time I truly did not have capacity to deal with any extra added hate directed at me for my choice of employer. This was a dark time in my life that almost broke me. I remember attending my first support group (for people who have been manipulated/assaulted in medicine by facilitators). In this support group, the church came up somehow and one of them said “oh you’re part of that dumpster fire?” Nothing was said ever again but I thought wow…this is just everywhere I turn, even the “safest” of spaces. Most recently, I decided to read a recent post in LAMPS asking the community what they think of the lawsuit. I will not even go into some of the comments, they are as horrible as you can imagine, and of course all from people we do not know. This is what I have to say about this. As someone who was actually here from the beginning, it is not in anyone’s mind to seek revenge. I understand that this article and the mission to take down an entire community, well this is one of those hard examples of the universe wanting to experience it all. I hate saying that but it’s true. The duality of good and bad is just our human tendency.
What is being sought is restitution. We scraped by for a long time, slowing down our scientific process, going without pay to bring this exciting discovery that was still jeered at and brushed aside because of the amount of damage already done. There will always be people out there who choose to spend their time tearing others down in an effort to ignore the wounds within themselves. And seemingly no matter what is proven. As a community and church, we’ve slowly grown thicker skin. We have chosen happiness in the midst of a chaotic bubble of hate. We have taken accountability for our humanness. And I can say with complete veracity, that these humans are doing their best to be a beacon in the midst of adversity and that Jenna, Ben, Greg and the rest of the staff deeply care about all of humanity. None of us would be in this work or would have fought for so long if this intention did not come deep from the soul.
I wanted to end this letter with one of my favorite quotes.
“Namaste means that my soul acknowledges yours; not just your light, your wisdom, your goodness, but also your darkness, your suffering, your imperfections. It means that I honor all that you are with all that I am.”- L.R. Knost
With Reverence,
Meagan Lynn, BS, MS-MCST
From Carla Crochet
To All That Wish to Read:
Thank you for being a supportive member and reading this far. Bringing you all to the very beginning for me. A couple of years ago at Greg’s birthday party, Ian handed us our first taste of the sacrament. He never told us what to expect, as he was doing his own research as to what each of our experiences were with no expectation for us. He only said that it was new and that it was 5MEO-infused mushrooms. That was it. I remember feeling like, wow, what is this? This is so different… I loved it. I loved how present it made me. I loved how gentle it was. I loved the energetics of this and the fact that I could move around and do things or I could come into a meditative state and sit in stillness. I loved how it brings you back to yourSelf. It was a deeply spiritual experience for me and the others I spoke with after.
About a year later, the church opened up. I have been working w/ the church ever since day one as the bookkeeper. I was so excited that people were going to have access to this molecule. Very soon we had members from all around the world. These members were telling us their stories of physical healing of their bodies, mental issues getting better, and people just feeling better in the world and in their bodies. This was exciting. The church was really there to support veterans and first responders, but it looked like it was supporting humanity as a whole. Our members grew and the sacrament was being taken all over the world.
When the USONA article came out, it was like people backed away instantly. Some of our members left and some stayed. I even had “friends” who believed the article and started looking at the founders as liars and scam artists. Of course, they were all people who did not know our founders personally. At this point, I want to say this… Ian, Ben, and Greg are three of the most loyal, and honest people I know. They have a true desire to change the world, quite literally. Greg works countless hours pro bono because that is his life’s mission, to help bring forth this revolution. Ian has the most intriguing imagination and his desire to help veterans keeps him going. He is not a quitter. Ben is loyal, vulnerable, and has a self-discipline that I would love to have. They are all in this to help veterans and others with similar issues. They would never knowingly lie or manipulate anyone for money. None of them have even made money from this! Knowing this about these guys made my daily life really hard. I couldn’t help but to read the articles and watch the ridiculous videos. It was like, everyone that was trying to promote us and help us suddenly turned into our worst enemies. I felt hopeless. Usually, I can tell my story of who these guys are, but here the damage was too far and the people doing it were too big. I had to sit back as everyone I worked with was ridiculed on a daily basis. It was hard, to say the least. I watched Greg, whom I had known for years, be tormented and I couldn’t help anyone. I watched as Jenna, my now sister, lived with the worst part of it. She basically took on the whole church and worked hard to give our members what they needed. She worked herself into frustration and depressive states. We all believed in this so much that we didn’t care if we were gonna get paid or not, we were still gonna show up.
As for me, all of my friends, even close ones, backed away from the church altogether. It felt like a personal attack all the time. We went from being about to run the church pretty easily, to having to let some people go. Some of our key staff members quit. We weren’t able to pay everyone. We started basically working for very little or sometimes we didn’t get paid. This was obviously our personal choice. We could have quit, got a job, and all that jazz. The reason that Never even crossed my mind is because I know these people and I know their integrity. I also know myself and I know my experiences were not a “placebo” effect. I knew that one day this would be made right, somehow. We had Adam working on science, so I trusted that would happen someday.
For months I went through lots of days in bed, lots of depression, lots of financial hardship, and not being able to pay bills and have food for my daughter and I. I stayed because I believed in the mission. I believed that this was what we said it was. I knew that It was something different because I experienced something different and I trusted that.
There’s always a lesson right?…
I learned that we have some amazing members!!! The members that stayed, participated, and hung out with us in our meetings. I learned that they had just as much invested as us, to some extent, and they weren’t ready to give up either. It gave me hope. I learned to trust in justice and to trust in the truth. I learned to trust God/ Source/ the Universe to give me exactly what I needed when I needed it. And, well, I’m still here and we are alive so that trust worked. I learned my triggers and how to deal with the shadows of myself and others. I learned that there is no timeline for any of this. This is all divine timing. I learned that when we can’t control something, we have to do what we can with what we can control, which is to focus on services for our members and continue to build that community regardless of who said what. I faced all my fears head-on and walked through the shadows for a year. I learned what my limiting beliefs are and allowed them to fall off me like the leaves off the trees. I slowed down and was able to do some intense inner work. I kept going! No matter what, I kept showing up for our members. I am so grateful for those nightly calls with members. I processed, healed, and went through all of this with some of them. We are and will continue to be transparent. One thing we are not is fake, in any way. You won’t find the all-mighty, must always think positive, kind of vibe here on our member calls. We are real and we talk about what we are going through and help each other navigate life. I just want to say Thank you to the members in those meetings. You got me through all this. Thank you! I love each person who reads this! I love you!
Carla Romero Crochet
Bookkeeper/ The Dream Team
From Katie Gray
Dearest Members and interested persons,
A handful of you might know me, but I’m one of the newest additions to the staff. I help coordinate Sunday service speakers, creative assignments, community outreach, and pretty much whatever else is needed that I can be of service for. I was not there in the beginning for the initial success nor the immediate fallout of the USONA article. The hardest part for me is that I’ve known Jenna, Meagan, Carla, and Greg, and have been acquainted with Ian for years. Jenna has been one of my closest friends since 2019 and we lived together for quite some time. Carla is one of the most caring and understanding souls I’ve ever met. Meagan is a walking miracle showing humanity that you can overcome any diagnosis a doctor gives you. Greg is a fireball of determination with a heart to change the face of the world one church at a time, often generous to a fault. Ian, while we haven’t had the pleasure of hanging out in person, I know him to be a champion for veterans and much like Greg, a true leader in encouraging Americans to stand up for their right to find their personal spiritual path and not be discouraged from using entheogens to connect to their creator because of outdated thinking.
Perhaps I’m mostly here contributing this as a character reference. These people have helped me, been there for me, and supported me consistently. We help each other. We recognize that we are all human. We’ve had to forgive each other at times after we’ve made mistakes and we’ve had beautiful moments of reconciliation. It’s not a frequent occurrence, but what I’m trying to explain is that these people do not have vindictive hearts. Quite the opposite. They are here to help and be of service in whichever way is best for this world.
As I’ve watched my friends dragging themselves, exhausted and trying their best to hang onto any sense of hope, I’ve been cheering them on. They still show up for each other. They still show up for the members. If only one person shows up to an integration call, that one person is getting a full hour of support. I’ve been studying “A Course in Miracles” for my personal practice and Marianne Williamson explains in her teaching that what it means when you hear “The chosen few,” is actually that everyone is called, and few choose the path. I will attest to witnessing the team that is The Church of the Sacred Synthesis, answer the call and continue to do so every day despite character assassination, limited resources, the personal sacrifices they’ve had to endure, and the minimal support or fairness they’ve received from the psychedelic and scientific community at large.
I have no skin in this game. I came to help. I signed on after the fact knowing that they don’t have the resources to pay me much, if anything, for my time. They have barely been able to pay themselves. I have a second job now and for me, this is a labor of love. My plea to you is to let the justice system serve its purpose. The outcome will be what it will and there’s no need to fear it or be angry. Everyone in this community wishes this had never happened in the first place or was at least handled in an ethical manner. The church team deserves restitution for their losses and damages. They’re not out to take revenge, just take care of their families and continue to build and grow the church community that they were called to. Please be kind to one another and try not to make assumptions. It’s fair to say “lawsuit” is a word that doesn’t mesh well in the “love and light” lens, but it exists for a reason. As a collective, we have agreed to safeguards for the good of all. Yes, the system is very flawed at times, but the church is doing everything by the letter of the law and as respectfully as possible to handle the aftermath of false information and wrong accusations in a civilized manner. Thank you for your support and understanding. I’m humbled and proud to be a part of this team and this family that is the church community.
Katie Gray
Member, contributor, and fellow earth dweller.
Thank you for these letters… I have continued using the sacrament throughout as I KNOW it assists me and is related to 5 Meo by its very signature. Which only those who have done both would understand. Thank you for hanging in there and trusting the process, no matter how difficult.. 🙏🏻
Thank you 🙏 That means the world to us💗
I NEVER doubted any of you. I trust and respect all of you. My life took a turn for the good last summer. The universe ALWAYS provides and supports all of us. My life is so very full, of which I’m extremely grateful🙏🏼. It’s kept me from being in person at the Sunday services. I do catch the replay on some and follow all of you on social media. Thank you for your example of beauty, grace, forgiveness and walking through attacks like you did!
With deep respect and gratitude,
Mary Braun
Thank Mary, we love and appreciate you💗
I really appreciate you all opening your hearts in this way. Thank you.
Thank you for reading <3